Dear Diary
by nickeline
Summary: A peek into the young life of the adopted prince. Work in progress :)
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

**Hello readers :D This is my first time writing fan fiction so I hope I'm doing it right. It will be a single chapter for now and I'll keep adding on to it. I know the events that take place here may not be chronologically correct according to the actual myth, but hey, it's fan fiction, right? This piece is meant to be light-hearted, nothing too serious and written purely for fun and feels. I don't know where this will go or how it will end (if it ever does end) but I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it!**

**This diary belongs to a young Loki, I'm guessing he's in his early teens (in Midgardian terms, hah) or maybe even slightly younger when he wrote this. Do comment and review!**

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Kæru Dagbók,

Today Thor and his friends went to spar practice at the Colosseum. I thought that was boring. They go out and spar a lot nowadays. I tried to follow them once and got bruises everywhere. Father looked a little annoyed at me. He always is because I am so easily beat at sparring. Thor got all the praises, of course, as is the usual.

So while they went to practice I sneaked into Gladsheim (not before Heimdall scolded me but I ignored him) and listened to Father discuss something about the Jotunns with the other lords. And as usual they didn't notice me when I teleported into the hall. Oh, I forgot to tell you I just learned a teleportation spell. It is so much fun but when I told Father he got terribly furious and told me not to do it again. He says magic is horrible and is not to be messed with. I like it though. It's the one thing I'm good at that everybody else isn't.

Anyway, about the Jotunns. Apparently Father had noticed Jotunheim was growing stronger and he thought it was because they were preparing themselves for a war. Father has something they want. I think it's called the Ancient Casket of something. Father seemed quite agitated about it. He said the Jotunns were sure to cause some trouble to Asgard if the casket was returned to them. I thought so too. Thor says that Father says that Jotunns are horrible creatures who cannot be trusted. They like to kill and wreak havoc wherever they go. I saw a Jotunn once. He was blue and huge and he had red eyes. I thought he was very ugly.

Thor told me that once he became king he would destroy Jotunheim and all those blue creatures. I thought he was very brave and I said I would help him too.

Mother is calling me. I must go.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	2. Chapter 2

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

I caught Thor hanging out with Sif behind Hlidskjalf. It was after lunch. Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun went off somewhere, giggling by themselves, and I am quite sure they are up to no good again. Mother gave me extra dessert today because she said I had been good the whole week. I had to keep my face straight because I didn't want her to know I had sneaked into Gladsheim again.

I heard Thor talking to Sif about me. I know because she was laughing so hard her face was red. She only laughs that hard at jokes about me. I was sitting in the shadows and they couldn't see me. Thor likes Sif a lot. He told me last night when he sneaked into my room after Mother tucked us in. Since you are my secret Dagbók, I'm going to tell you something I didn't dare tell Thor then. I kind of like Sif too.

There, I said it. I think Sif is really pretty. Her golden hair is so long and frames her slender face nicely. I think Thor is very lucky, because I am sure Sif likes him too. Thor is so strong and brave and smart. Who wouldn't like him?

So I was listening to Thor's stories about me, and I admit some were really funny. I couldn't help but laugh. Sif heard me, and she found me hiding behind the pillar and she was so mad. Thor looked a little surprised to see me, but he wasn't angry. Sif pulled me by my collar and she shook me and told me to leave them alone. I hate to say it but she's actually much stronger and taller than me. One of the guards found us (because Sif was making such a racket) and he called Father. Father thought I had done something wrong again an dragged me back to the palace by the arm. It was embarrassing.

I didn't get any dessert for dinner and Father didn't let me join them for supper. Thor sneaked me a pastry though.

I am so angry with Sif now. She's a girl and she shouldn't be stronger than me! Maybe I'll make Thor teach me how to spar tomorrow.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	3. Chapter 3

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

Today was a horrible day.

I persuaded Thor to teach me how to spar and he agreed. He told me he would bring me to his secret place where he practices. We left with Sif and the other three boys and they seemed very excited. I have followed them many times to the Colosseum, but this time they brought me into the woods. We've never gone there before because Mother said it's dangerous. I told Thor but he just told me to shush and the other boys were teasing me for being scared but I wasn't. All right, maybe a little. But Thor was there so I wasn't so scared.

We got so deep into the woods the trees were so huge and the canopy almost covered the entire sky. Fandral was actually looking quite worried and it was then that I realised we were lost. Volstagg was complaining he was hungry. Then suddenly a massive black animal came charging towards us from nowhere and Sif screamed. I saw the scaly skin and long antlers and I knew it was a Bilgesnipe. I saw a picture once in a book in the library.

We scattered but the Bilgsnipe went after Hogun. He turned around and tried to hit it with his sword. I knew that would only agitate the cursed creature further and I told him to stop. I yelled at him to crouch and stay still. Thank the Norns he did just that and the Bilgesnipe stopped in its tracks. But then it saw me and charged towards me instead. I crouched then, but the damned animal wouldn't stop charging. I heard Fandral screaming at me to run, but I couldn't move a muscle. Then there was a yell and a loud dull thud and the Bilgesnipe was lying on its side a few feet away from me. Thor had hit it with a huge rock.

I got up and stared at the dead creature. I knew it was dead because it's head was caved in and there was a lot of dark blood coming out from its mouth. A bilgesnipe is actually quite beautiful a creature. I wanted to touch its antlers, but Sif shoved me away. She was mad because I didn't run and almost got myself killed for cowering. I wanted to argue that I wasn't cowering, but the hunters found us then. They were surprised to find us and escorted us back to the palace.

As expected Father was very very furious. Sif told him it had been my idea to go into the woods and Father just believed her without listening to me! The others looked guilty too, but they didn't point out she was lying because they didn't want to get into trouble. Thor admitted it was partly his fault, and I was grateful he stood up for me. Father said it was brave of Thor for killing the Bilgesnipe and saving me. Father was still furious with me and scolded me right there! I cried in front of everyone and I couldn't explain myself because I was crying so much and it was so embarrassing.

Before Sif and the other three left Hogun grabbed me by the arm and thanked me for saving him. At least he remembered.

I hate Sif now. I still think she's pretty.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	4. Chapter 4

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

The feast has left me tired but I will try to tell you what happened.

Thor got Mjolnir today. Father thought of rewarding Thor's show of courage in saving me last week and he had ordered an invincible hammer to be forged. I saw it in the Trophy Room yesterday when I was secretly practicing my teleporting skill and somehow ended up inside. It looked quite grand and I thought Thor would love it very much. I tried to carry it but it wouldn't budge and I thought Father had cast some sort of protective spell over it.

When Father handed Thor Mjolnir he had said something about only the worthy can bear its powers. So that means only Thor can wield it. Thor looked immensely happy and he feasted a lot. He showed it off to Sif and Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral. They couldn't pick it up when they tried and Thor was beaming with pride since he was the only 'worthy' one. The other guests congratulated Thor and commended on his bravery for saving me. But behind my backs they mutter and tut about what a coward I had been. I know they gossip because I can hear them. I just ignore them.

I am truly happy for Thor. But I confess I feel a bit jealous. Just a bit. I hope that once I reach Thor's age Father will find me worthy as well and give me my own hammer. Or a spear like Gungnir. Or something equally impressive.

When it got later at night the grown-ups started drinking a lot of mead and were getting really loud and Mother told me to get ready for bed. I went out to look for Thor instead and found him outside the palace in the garden in the dark. And Sif was hugging him. I just watched.

When they finally let go Sif saw me and scowled. I knew she was angry and she stormed towards me. I stood my ground this time and retaliated when she tried to hit me. I pushed her so hard she fell down. Thor was by her side then, and he looked angry too. He told me to go back inside and I did. But not before Sif got up and punched me in the jaw. How humiliating.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	5. Chapter 5

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Dagbók,

I know I shouldn't have done it, but Sif needed to learn a lesson. I just hadn't expected everything to go so wrong.

I followed Thor to the Colosseum today. Sif and the other three were already there. They took turns to spar against me, claiming that it would be good practice for me. But I know they know I am weak and I know they did it for laughs. I got beat at each round, and the last round was against Fandral. When he was about to strike me I cast a protective spell around myself and the fake sword in his hands simply bounced off. While he was still reeling in surprise I struck him and won the round. The others were gaping at me. Then Sif spoke up first. She said using magic was cheating and that it was unfair. The others simply stared at me uneasily.

I was worried she would tell Father and I begged her not to. Of course she ignored me. I heard her mutter to Volstagg that I was a 'whiny, pathetic snob'. How dare she! But I kept quiet and sat out the next few rounds and waited until they were done. They got tired after a while and decided to nap before we left for home. It was then that I had an idea.

While they were sleeping I took my sword and grabbed a handful of Sif's pretty golden hair and cut it. Her once beautiful long hair now just reached the nape of her neck. Then suddenly her hair turned dark. It grew darker until it turned brown, then black. As black as my own. I didn't know that was going to happen! I was so shocked I couldn't run when she woke up and screamed at me.

Father slapped me. Sif was sent home sobbing and Thor was very mad at me.

Just now I asked Mother why my hair was black. Thor's and hers and Father's are all the same blonde colour, and their eyes are blue too. I have green eyes. Mother just smiled at me and hugged me closer to her and said I was special. I asked her if that was a bad thing and she laughed. She didn't answer my question.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	6. Chapter 6

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

Thor is still mad at me. He ignored me and refused to talk to me even at dinner. I didn't do anything interesting today.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	7. Chapter 7

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

I wandered into Asgard's library this afternoon and almost missed dinner if not for the old caretaker who had interrupted me. I was so drawn into the book I was reading I lost track of time. I had sneaked into the locked section of the library. It was obvious nobody had been there in a long time and the books and shelves were covered with thick layers of dust. I thought it was very strange nobody went there because, by the Norns, those books were much more interesting than the things Father makes Thor and I read.

I found a thick volume about magic. And at the rate I'm going I think I will take about a month to study everything in it. It explained a bit about the history and origins of magic but I skipped that part since it got very confusing after a while. I might get back to that when I feel like it. I learnt how to conjure a small green fire and make it dance around my fingers! At first I didn't think it would actually work, but when it did I was so surprised. I mean, I've never gotten beyond the few teleportation spells and the occasional protective spells that Mother taught me. I wouldn't say I've mastered them yet but I'll practice them as often as Thor plays with his Mjolnir.

I've finally found something I like and I'm going to work hard on it. I should have brought that book back with me but that old rat of a caretaker scared me so I dropped the book and left the library in a hurry.

I cannot wait to get hold of it again.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	8. Chapter 8

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

I went back to the library right after breakfast. Thor was getting suspicious but I came up with a convincing enough excuse that seemed to satisfy him and he left me alone. Father hardly noticed my disappearance so that's all right.

I found the book right where I dropped it. I decided to just teleport it back home with me. I have been reading it the whole day. I can levitate things now. I took a while to learn that one, and it was actually quite tiring, but it feels so good to watch things float in mid air and know that _I_ made that happen. I tried a spell that was supposed to set things on fire, but I only froze things instead. There must be something wrong with the spell because I cannot seem to get it right every time I cast it. I shall try it again tomorrow. Sorcery drains me. I am far too tired.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	9. Chapter 9

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

Father was right about the Jotunns. Heimdall slayed a few of them when they tried to enter Asgard. Heimdall warned Father and said that he saw the Jotunns organising themselves an army. I sneaked into Gladsheim and I heard Father announce that he intended to discuss the matter with the Vanir, and that sparked a wave of murmurs from the rest of the other elders.

I wanted to stay and listen to them for a while longer but it was lunch and Mother would surely be upset if I was late.

I tried that spell again, and finally got it to work after switching a short phrase. I think I will go back to the library tomorrow and find more books.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	10. Chapter 10

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

It seems that my escapades to the library and to Gladsheim have not gone unnoticed. Heimdall confronted me today. I suppose I shouldn't have gone to the Bifrost in the first place. I wasn't supposed to be there but I wanted to watch Father return from his trip to Vanaheim. Heimdall had grabbed my arm and dragged me out from my hiding place. He frightened me out of my wits! I had never seen him frown until then. His golden eyes are so piercing I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze.

He told me to stop creeping about the library and Gladsheim. Heimdall said Gladsheim was no place for a young one like me to be in. He said he can see my every move but I know that already because Father told me. I had retorted that there was no harm in going to the library and reading.

His grip on my arm had tightened and he had pulled me closer. "I warn you, my prince," he had said. "Sorcery is an unmanly art and not to be messed with."

Not to be messed with. Like Father said.

Then I remembered hearing that Heimdall had killed several frost giants, and I started to tremble. I couldn't help but feel terrified. Then he let go of me and told me to go home.

Mother was worried about me when I reached the palace because I was pale and shaking so. I ate my dinner quietly while Thor oh so enthusiastically recounted his day's adventures with his friends to Mother. Father reached home while we were half way through dessert. As he passed through the dining hall he simply glared at me with his good eye, then stormed to his quarters. Heimdall must have told him. I felt so terrible I didn't even finish dessert.

Thor knew something was amiss and he crept into my room just now. I thought it was kind of him not to ask what happened, because I don't want to tell him. He let me touch Mjolnir and I guess that cheered me up a little. He said I could follow him tomorrow and play with him and his friends. He said Sif was all right now and wasn't so angry at me anymore. I'm not too sure about that.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	11. Chapter 11

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

Sif wasn't too pleased when she saw me trailing after Thor. Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun didn't mind my company at all, and they greeted me happily. "So what were we going to do," I had asked.

"I don't know," said Fandral. "We went sparring yesterday. And I want to do something else."

"I want to eat!"

"You always do, Volstagg."

"Hey!" And then, "I'm older than you, Hogun, so you mind your words."

I suggested we went to the library.

"But it's boring!" scoffed Fandral.

"My brother told me you sneaked into the locked section," announced Sif. "What were you doing there?"

Damn Heimdall.

I told her I had been lost.

She said, "You lie!"

So I just told them about the books I found because I didn't want to argue with Sif. They still didn't believe me when I told them about the spell books I found and the magic I had experimented with. So Fandral, being the loud-mouth he is, asked me to prove it.

I did and they watched as I made a dried leaf float. Then another. And another. Until we were surrounded with leaves. I jiggled my fingers and they danced in mid-air. The rest stared in wonder and I felt a swell of pride. After a while it got a little tiring so I stopped.

Sif spoke first. She said I should stop doing magic before the Allfather found out. I know she was impressed, but she looked quite uneasy too. Actually all of them looked uneasy. I just shrugged it off. They're just jealous, I think. I know Father won't be pleased if he knows what I'm doing, so I'll keep it a secret. I know I won't stop doing magic. I'm good at it.

In the end we played hide and seek. Volstagg complained he was too old for it, but he played anyway. None of them could find me because I teleported all the time.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	12. Chapter 12

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

**Thank you for the reviews! My first ever reviews :D Sorry for the short-ness of the chapters. I'll make up for it by posting more than one chapter each update :) I'll try!**

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Kæru Dagbók,

I joined my brother and his friends again today. We went to the Colosseum and practised sword-fighting. I dueled with Fandral and Thor and didn't lose even once, but that's because I pulled a few tricks and fooled them with my magic. I did it discreetly, small illusions here and there. They didn't even suspect anything! In fact Thor thinks that I'm actually improving. I'm really getting better with my magic.

Sif couldn't believe it when I actually Thor, so she challenged me afterwards. I lost. I admit I had been distracted by her. Honestly, I think she still looks pretty with short hair. Short, black hair like mine. The fight started out alright, and I was focused on her. Too focused, I supposed. I was stunned for a moment when our eyes met and I saw her brown, almost golden, eyes. I can't believe I've never noticed them before. I mean, it's not like I've never seen her before, but I've never actually bothered to look. I didn't even last a minute in the ring with her.

I was just walking out of the ring after my defeat when Sif demanded another duel with me.

I think Sif still bears a grudge against me for cutting her hair, because she fought so ferociously. She is quick and light on her feet. My magic could not keep up, and I was soon tired from casting so many spells. Sif had kicked me, and I ended up sprawled on the ground with a sword hovering by my neck. Sif was breathing hard but had a smug look on her face, and the others were cheering for her from somewhere nearby.

"Good fight, Loki," she had said as she pulled me up. "You truly are getting better." And she actually smiled at me. The kind of smile she gives Thor when he does something admirable.

Sif has never commended me before. I couldn't help but feel proud of myself even though I looked worse for wear. I had looked into her eyes again then. Brown flecked with gold. And her hair. Her short jet black hair standing out in some places. It made her look almost cute. There, I said it. I can't believe I just used that word.

When we were heading back Thor and Sif deliberately walked slower, lagging behind us and told the rest of us to go on without them. Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg were laughing and teasing Thor so much his face was so flushed. Thor is really lucky. Sif likes him a lot because he's worthy and has Mjolnir. Sometimes I wonder... Would she like me if I was the one with Mjolnir instead of Thor?

I don't know what to feel. I know I'm not jealous, and I'm happy for Thor. But deep down it hurts a little.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	13. Chapter 13

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

Just now Father looked brighter than usual. I heard him tell Mother that he had travelled to Jotunheim with some of the Vanir, and somehow they had come up with some sort of agreement. So now the threat of the Jotunheim's attack is no more. And Father still possesses the Casket of Ancient Winters. The thing that the Jotunns are so keen in getting their giant blue hands on. That's what it is called. I saw it once in the weapons vault a long time ago. It's a glowing blue box. Thor and I are forbidden from entering the vault without Father. It's not like I would ever want to step in there again. I do not like being in the company of weapons and relics that have killed and murdered thousands. How eerie.

Father said something about the frost giants being pathetic and so impulsive to have accepted their terms so easily. Then he announced there would be a feast in Valhalla right that evening.

I thought that was quite impulsive of him actually. But of course I didn't tell him that.

The hall was very crowded with Asgardians I have never met and don't even know exist. It irks me that these strangers know who I am. A few call me by my name, most call me Odinson or 'Prince' or just refer to me as 'Thor's brother'. Not many are interested in talking to me, and I do not mind that at all. Those who actually bother conversing with me usually ask about Thor or Father. I'm not overly fond of feasts. Usually I hide behind that massive pillar in the far end of the hall and observe what everyone is doing. But just now I felt particularly bored and practiced levitating food off the tables. The reaction I got was hilarious! I was laughing so hard I didn't notice Heimdall standing behind me. I hadn't expected him to be there, Heimdall rarely attends feasts. He told me off, but I swear I saw a hint of amusement on his ever-stoic face. I find it very difficult to read through that solemn mask he wears all the time. I'm usually more perceptive than others when it comes to reading people's expressions, but Heimdall escapes me.

Mother says I'm too young to drink mead, but I managed to take a quick sip of some just now. I've decided that I do not like it. Such strange things old people find delightful.

Thor usually sees feasts and celebrations as a chance to flirt with naïve girls. And they usually play along, giggling and blushing like the fools they are. Thor convinced me to try once, but I only scared the girl and she ran off wailing. But Thor wasn't doing any that today, and he was sitting with Sif. Ah yes, Sif. Sif was there too. I saw her sitting beside Thor and she gave me the faintest of smiles when I waved at her. Thor thought I was waving at him and waved back, grinning like a jackal. Oaf.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


	14. Chapter 14

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me. Except maybe Isaz mwahahaha.)**

**Isaz is a runic alphabet and means 'ice' in Old Norse. I thought it was pretty apt for Loki's horse to be named that. ;)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

I have not been able to confide in you the past days, for I was preoccupied.

Everytime I see Sif and her black hair I am reminded of what I had done. And I feel guilty. I wanted to give Sif something to replace what I'd taken from her so selfishly. I wish I knew how to do that myself, but I don't, and I don't know enough magic to do so.

So the morning after the feast I decided to somehow get a headpiece for Sif that looked just like her former golden locks.

Mother once told Thor and I about the black elves – the dwarfs living in Nidavellir. Mother said the dwarfs are the best craftspersons in all the Nine Realms.

I didn't tell anyone what I was planning to do. I told Mother I was going to take Isaz (my horse) to the hills. Father was busy as usual and Thor was with his friends so I didn't have to worry about them hawking after me. I brought along with me the map Father gave Thor and I when we were studying Asgard geology so there wasn't much trouble for me to find my way to Nidavellir.

I rode Isaz way past the hills, and by late afternoon I had reached the caverns. I have never been to Nidavellir before, nor anywhere beyond Asgard, and I admit I was a little anxious. The lands were an odd colour, and it was all barren with some cliffs and mountain-like formations scattered in a mess. Isaz was very very uneasy, and it took some coaxing before he trotted deeper into the black fields. I should have known Isaz's fear was justified.

The next thing I remember was waking up in a strange-smelling place. It was dark. Something was prodding my ribs. That something turned out to be the first dwarf I ever laid eyes upon. I introduced myself as Odinson, a prince of Asgard, and demanded that I be brought to the Sons of Ivaldi at once. He did, but only after many rounds of (truly unnecessary) persuasion and convincing.

I realised I was no longer above ground, but underneath it in the caves. I was led through the tunnels which eventually led to a dwarf-sized underground cave thing. The dwarf who found me made me sit on the cold hard stone and told me to wait before he scampered off. It was really dimly lit inside. I never got to meet the Sons of Ivaldi myself, and they sent a messenger to talk to me. I told them the purpose for my visit, and gave them until the next morning to craft a golden headpiece. The messenger told me they accepted my proposal, and that it was to be delivered to Asgard by the following dawn.

When I was left alone, a figure appeared from the shadows. The dwarf introduced himself as Brokkr, and he told me he had listened to my conversation with the messenger. I was annoyed at that point, and I asked him what is was that he wanted.

He said, "I bet on my head I can forge a greater, much more beautiful headpiece than the Sons of Ivaldi."

I laughed at him. Father's magnificent spear was created by the Sons of Ivaldi themselves. Who could ever do better than them?

He said again, "I bet on my head for yours that my brother and I can make a better headpiece. Tomorrow, the Allfather himself will decide which of ours are superior than the other."

I was a fool to have accepted his bet.

I somehow made my way back above ground, and found Isaz not far from where I emerged. The sky was dark, and I knew by the time I reached Asgard it would be night.

Father was enraged when I finally reached the palace, and he demanded to know where I had gone. He was angry I left Asgard without him knowing. I knew Heimdall would have said something to him, and it would be pointless to lie, so I told him anyway. I did not tell him of my deal with that damned Brokkr, though. Father refused to listen to my reasons for visiting Nidavellir and simply dismissed my words.

The dwarfs were true to their word and they had entered Asgard and stepped into Gladsheim by dawn. Brokkr was there as well, with another dwarf (probably his brother) accompanying him. He gave me a sharp grin as I followed Father into the hall. Finally the headpieces were presented before him, and Father took a moment to study them.

"So which is it you find better?" Brokkr had asked, a twitch of a smile lurking at the corner of his lips.

Father picked one, and as he held it in his hands, nodded slightly to himself. I knew the headpiece Father held in his hands did not belong to the Sons of Ivaldi, for Brokkr broke into a menacing grin, and lunged towards me. His claw-like fingers clasped my arm tightly and he pulled me to him. Father had stood up from his throne, clutching Gungnir with a hand, but Brokkr snarled at him. I was shocked the bloody dwarf dared face my Father.

"You cannot help him, oh mighty Odin. He has made a bet, and he will pay the price for his foolishness."

Brokkr grabbed a clump of my hair and yanked my head back. I had felt the cool metal of his dagger touch my neck, but before he could dig it deeper, I yelled at him to stop. I said he couldn't take my head because doing so would take away part of my neck, which wasn't in the bet. He growled at me and dropped the dagger, but held me firmly in place.

"You deceiving wretch," he had said. And before I knew what he was doing I felt a sharp pain on my lip. The damned dwarf was sewing my lips together!

I had screamed at him to stop, but he didn't. I struggled so much but Brokkr pinned me to the floor. I couldn't do anything. I remember screaming for Father, but he just stood there, not moving, and watched. He just _watched_.

I had never felt so scared in my life. I had never felt so humiliated.

The thread cannot be cut. I tried. I cannot eat. I cannot drink. I cannot talk. I am so very ashamed of myself. I locked myself in my room. I want to be left alone. I've sealed my door with a spell. The bleeding has lessened. I can taste blood in my mouth. My lips are sore. I am so very tired, but I cannot sleep.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki


	15. Chapter 15

**(Disclaimer: These MARVELous characters do not belong to me.)**

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Kæru Dagbók,

I am feeling better. Mother managed to break into my room. She somehow cut through the thread and removed it. I was too weak to notice anything, but when I woke up the thread was gone. I can feel the punctures when I lick my lips, and they feel tender and they sting. But at least the thread was finally removed, and I can finally eat. Thor told me I hadn't left my room in almost a week. I hadn't eaten all the while. Mother somehow broke the locking spell I had cast. And when she found me I was faint and sickly. I am better now.

But I refuse to speak. Especially to Father. I've begun to have nightmares of Brokkr sewing my lips together, and I always wake up sweating and sobbing like an idiot. Sometimes I see Father in those nightmares as well, but he does nothing to stop Brokkr. He simply stands and watches, his eye as intense and piercing as Heimdall's. Last night I had a particularly nasty dream, and Thor must have heard me fall off the bed because he stormed into my room right then. He just sat down beside me and wrapped a thick arm around my shoulders. He was kind enough to keep quiet as I bawled. Embarrassing as it was, his presence is a really great comfort.

Thor can be really dumb and annoying sometimes, but I truly am grateful he is my brother.

Vinur þinn,  
Loki Odinson


End file.
